Night Of The Living Dead: Reanimation

At some point, I expect George A. Romero to start suing anyone that uses Night Of The Living Dead in their movie title. But we'll get to that later.

This film is set in the Zombie Capital, Pittsburgh. Gerald Tovar, Jr. is a Pyrophobic (scared of fire) mortician. He and his brother, Harold inherit a funeral home from their dad after he dies. Dad had a deal with the government to burn toxic waste. Harold wants none of it, so he moves away. None of that was fully explained until the movie was at the 42 minute mark.

The movie opens with Junior interviewing a new beautician after his current one makes a client look like a "clown". Then, a state inspector shows up. He gets killed by a zombie.

Later, we see Junior watching a video of his crematory. He watches as a zombie rises. He then goes down into the crematory, and kills it. At this point in the movie, Harold shows up looking to borrow money from his brother. This is where we learn about Gerald being scared to cremate the bodies. Since the chemicals and bodies weren't being burned, the bodies were reanimating.

The brothers go back to the funeral home and find out the dead have risen and are trapped in the funeral home. Junior digs up dad and accidentally feeds his brother to his dad.

Junior and his employees fight off the zombies until he's the only one alive.

This movie sucked. I'll ignore the CHEESY special effects. Most low budget films get a pass on that. What I can't ignore was the way the story jumped around, and the terrible scene where the employees stopped to smoke weed with a dead guy that wasn't a zombie. Yes, you read that right. I can't ignore the political opinions. There's no room for that in a zombie film. I did like all the George A. Romero references. Which makes me wonder if he would sue for a filmmaker doing this to his movie franchise. In case you were wondering, this movie gets a well deserved 1.

Beyond The Grave

On our Facebook page we asked for recommendations. I NEVER thought a film producer would recommend a film. Especially not one of his own.  Scroll down below the review to read our interview with the film's producer, Isidoro B. Guggiana.

I'm gonna warn you now. This film is hard to follow. There are many different elements that make up this movie. Well, onto the review...

This film comes at us from the home of the 2014 World Cup, Brazil.  Beyond The Grave takes place DURING The Zombie Apocalypse. But, the main theme isn't zombies. The film follows a cop who is trying to stop a demon from killing off the remaining people on the planet. During their battles, the demon jumps from person to person each time the host body is fatally injured.  Makes me wonder if the demon could jump into a zombie, or did the demon start the Zombie Apocalypse?  The demon apparently was a cowboy in the Wild West. Each host body wears the same hat, coat, and... gas mask.

During the cop's travels chasing down The Dark Rider (the demon), he encounters a group of people doing their best to survive.  The way they banded together and took care of each other kind of reminded me of Hershel's family from The Walking Dead.  Oh, the cop also saw a few zombies from time to time. What makes this film unique zombie-wise is that eating wasn't always important to them. That part of the story, I wasn't a fan of.  There was a scene where one zombie fed another zombie that must've been too crippled to feed itself.  I thought that was pretty cool.

I would've liked to see more zombies.  It would've been cool for The Dark Rider and the cop to have to fight off zombies while fighting each other.

I think i pretty much sorted this one out. On a scale of 1 to 10, this one gets a 4. Bottom line: This one needed more zombies.

Cockneys VS Zombies

This Horror/Comedy was recommended to me by a co-worker with the warning that this one was so bad that he couldn't finish it.  The setting for this movie is East London.  Knowing that makes it tough.  I don't do well with English movies.  Half the time, I can't understand what they're saying.

A construction crew is doing a dig when two of the guys find a buried tomb.  The date on the tomb is 1666. Scary stuff.  A skeleton pops out and bites the duo.  Fast forward a little bit, we meet two of the main characters, Terry and Andy.  They're brothers, and career criminals.  One is always running his mouth and getting the two of them in trouble.  Soon, we meet their elderly grandfather.  He's in a nursing home.  The nursing home is going bankrupt and has to close.  All of the residents will be shipped "North".

Later, we meet two friends of the brothers.  Actually, one friend and one cousin.  The friend is an army vet who has a metal plate in his head.  He finds humor in smashing things like cars with his head.  They hatch a plan to rob a bank to pay the Nursing Home's debts.

Flashback to the construction site, the two infected workers are now biting everyone in sight.  The Zombie Apocalypse has begun!  Back at the bank, the group takes two hostages.

Once outside the bank, the cops that were surrounding the bank are gone.  They've been infected.  From this point, the movie follows the group as they fight zombies and make their way to rescue their grandfather.  During this time a few bad jokes were told.  There was a baby zombie kicked, and a Soccer brawl between Undead fans of West Ham United F.C. and Millwall F.C.  That was painful, and not at all funny.  Somewhere along the way Mickey, the army vet gets bitten.  After he turns, the group and the hostages attempt to shoot him in the head to kill him.  But, the metal plate prevents that.  You'll have to watch the film to find out how they kill him.

Later, the group reaches the nursing home and rescues all the residents.  They decide to flee London pretty much the same way the survivors did in the Dawn Of The Dead remake.  Grandfather gets swarmed at the end, and it looks like he's pretty much a goner.  Then, he pulls out a gun that he clearly didn't have, and escapes.

The film wasn't terrible, but it wasn't good either.  The zombies weren't scary.  But, this was the beginning of the end. They didn't have time to rot.  So, I'll over look that.  The poor attempts at comedy, especially the soccer riot hurt this one.  On a scale of 1 to 10, this one limps away with a 3.