Zombie Town

When I initially started watching this movie, I was willing to accept the fact that this was a low budget movie.  I knew that the special effects weren't gonna be great.  I was willing to over look that.  I was even willing to over look the plot hole of a zombie being arrested.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.  Let's back up a bit.

The movie opens in the woods somewhere.  A group of friends have decided to get away for the weekend.  For one reason or another each of the friends has a reason to go away.  One friend decides to take a walk by himself through the woods.  Alone.  At night.  Bad idea.  When the opening credits are finished rolling this guy is now a zombie and has managed to stumble back to the cabin where is friends are.  Needless to say, he eats all of them.  At this point, I'm enjoying the movie.  I've looked past the bad acting and the bad special effects.

The next morning a couple of guys (who know the dead guys) hear about what happened.  They do some of their own investigating before calling the cops.  Once the cops are called in, things go down hill.  Down hill for the movie and for the characters in it.  A zombie gets arrested.  The next scene cuts to the guy screaming and growling from his jail cell.  How exactly did they manage to put the guy in handcuffs? How'd they get him in and out of the car?  How'd they get him into the cell?  I've got more questions.  None of which get answered.

So, the guy is laying in the cell, and some sort of snake-looking thing eats it's way out of his chest.  This thing crawls into the toilet.  And then, the sheriff sits on the toilet.  You can guess what happens next.

As it turns out, this really wasn't a zombie movie after all.  It was an alien invasion movie.  That being said, I won't be able to rate this film.  I guess if I did, it'd get a 2.  But, it's not really a zombie movie.  The soundtrack is what gives this movie the rating.  It's evenly mixed with Heavy Metal and Country Music.  Those are two of my favorite genres of music.  But that's not enough to save this film.  I don't recommend this one at all.

Exit Humanity

This zombie flick takes place in 1875, ten years after the American Civil war has ended.  The main character, Edward Young has returned home from a hunting trip to find that his son is missing and his wife is a zombie.  Edward begins to wander around looking for other people, shelter and food.  He meets another man who is trying to rescue his sister from some Confederate Soldiers who refuse to accept that the war is over.  Much like The Walking Dead season 3, there are alot of fights between the living in this movie.

There a some very cool animated intervals that add to the story.  The animated shorts are taken from the journal that Edward keeps along his journey through the Southern United States.

The special effects team did a great job.  The zombies looked very scary.  Dee Wallace has a small role in this film as a woman with a secret.  You may remember Dee from her role as Elliot's mother in E.T.

Somewhere in the movie I became somewhat bored.  The movie ran a little too long.  Near the end of the movie Edward has somehow gained control of the zombies and he leads them to battle.  I probably missed something very important to the film's plot when I became bored.

Despite the flaws in this movie, I still enjoyed watching it.  On a scale of 1 to 10, this movie gets a respectable 7.  You should probably check it out.

Stripperland!

This VERY lame spoof of Zombieland was pretty stupid. The only thing remotely cool about this movie was the idea that the Zombie Virus only affects women.  I can see that as totally plausible.  But that's where it stops.  Once a woman has become infected, she has an uncontrollable urge to either take all of her clothes off, or dress like a stripper and seduce men for the purpose of eating their flesh.  In this film you could kill a zombie by shooting it anywhere.  I like the fact that in order to kill a zombie, you have to kill the brain.  That's a basic rule for a good zombie movie.  This just might be the dumbest movie ever made.

Just like in Zombieland, the characters are named after cities or states, and the main character (Idaho), has a set of rules to survive by.  His rules are modified from a book he carries called, "How To Pick Up Strippers".  The soundtrack wasn't too bad.  But, there are a few reasons to watch Stripperland! If you have an irrational hatred of Woody Harrelson and/or Jesse Eisenberg, or maybe you just wanna see some boobies, then watching Stripperland! might be an acceptable substitute.  Otherwise, don't bother with this one.  On a scale of 1 to 10, this gets a very generous 1. 

Cold Storage

This installment of The Walking Dead webisodes was directed by the show's co-executive producer, special effects makeup artist, director, and part-time actor, Greg Nicotero.  I really love this show.  So, naturally anything that is associated with this show will almost always get a 10 from me.

This mini movie is set sometime in the beginning of season 1.  The main character, Chase is trying to catch up to his friends and is hoping to find his sister along the way.  There is much speculation that Chase's sister is Lori.  That remains to be seen.  But, while we wait for season 3 to start, click here to watch Cold Storage.

Night Of The Living Dead (1968)

This is the movie that started it all.  Released in 1968, it's been selected by the Library of Congress for preservation in the National Film Registry as a film deemed "culturally, historically or aesthetically significant."

If you haven't seen this one, I recommend it.  It's not the best movie ever made, but it sure isn't the worst.  That title still belongs to Bloodlust Zombies.  You can find that review in this blog as well.  

Anyway, a radioactive spill by the military sets off a chain reaction of events.  I watched this movie knowing that the special effects and make-up wouldn't be up to par with today's standards.  What made me think when watching this movie were the news reports on the TV and radio.  This is clearly the beginning of the zombie apocalypse.  So, TV and radio still work.  There are reports of murders, looting, riots, chaos, AND places you can go for shelter.  This is most likely what would happen if this thing could happen for real.  I think this is what scared people in the theaters the most.  I think this is why people were offended after watching it.  The fact that Barbara went into shock (which is very much possible) really irritated me.  Why? Cause she wouldn't talk.  Also, typical in a George A. Romero film, the zombies were using weapons.  I know, it's stupid.  But, that's one of those things about a zombie movie that I find annoying.

To give the original zombie apocalypse movie anything less than a 10 wouldn't be right.  But, to give it a score I felt wasn't deserving wouldn't be right either.  So, on a scale of 1 to 10, this classic movie gets a 9.  If you disagree with me, watch the full movie here and you decide.

Play Dead

I really enjoyed this 18 minute short film.  This one is set in Miami in the summer of 2012.  I personally think it's pretty believable considering what happened in Miami this year.

This film takes an interesting approach to the zombie movie genre: it's mostly presented from a dog's point of view.

I drew my own conclusion as to how the whole thing started.  I'm going with the earlier mentioned incident in Miami.  That being said, the dogs are immune to the virus and are roaming around Miami looking for something to eat.  That's pretty much it.  But, there's nothing lame about this one.  The zombies look cool, the acting was very good.  In fact, this movie gets a 10.  By the way, this was done on a $6,000 budget.  Maybe Hollywood should think about that.  I recommend this one.  In fact, click here to watch it.

Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies

Immediately I thought this would've been a great Civil War era zombie movie without the historical references.  But, this movie was intended to be a mockbuster film.  I dunno why there was a need to mock Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, but there was.

The movie opens with a young Abe running into his home to find his mother affected by the disease.  She's tied to the bed.  Abe's dad tells him that he cannot kill her. So, he shoots himself in the head leaving little Abe to kill his own mother.

Fast forward into Lincoln's second term as president.  News has arrived at the White House that a Confederate fort has fought back the Union's advances to leave only 1 surviving soldier.  He's very sick and barely alive.  When questioning the survivor, Lincoln discovers the soldier has an illness that seems to bring corpses back to life. He then personally leads a team of the new secret service (which was actually created due to Lincoln's death) of 12 men to accompany him in investigating the fort.  It wasn't until later that I thought of this, but there is only 1 scene near the end of the movie where anybody is riding a horse.  I guess everybody walked where they went back in 1863.  Soon, Abe and his men meet up with Stonewall Jackson and his men via gun fight.  The dude playing Jackson was CLEARLY wearing a fake beard.  I guess there weren't any D-List actors (or men in Georgia) with beards that day.  After Abe and his men win the gun battle they take over the fort.  The zombie plague is discovered, and a plan is set in motion.

Abe and his men set about the town killing zombies.  They are able to walk among them with ease as long as they are quiet.  I hated that.  Among other things, that was a major flaw in this movie.  While clearing the town, Abe runs into his ex-girlfriend turned whore, Mary.  Mary and her daughters have been hiding in their home with 10 year old Theodore Roosevelt.  The time frame of this movie is two years before Teddy was born.

Anyway, while clearing out the town a second time, Mary gets zombie blood in her mouth and she begins a slow turn into one of the undead.  While this is going on, one of Abe's men, John Wilkinson AKA John Wilkes Booth plots to release a zombified soldier being held captive.  He's doing this because well, he's John Wilkes Booth.  During his speech to the undead soldier (who does not attempt to eat him) he talks about his life as an actor and etc...  This may be the only historical accuracy in the film.  John Wilkes Booth was actually a very famous actor at the time he killed Lincoln.

Later, a plan is formed to attract all the zombies to the fort and blow it up.  Once this is done, Mary goes on to tell Abe about how brave everyone has been.  It's now one year later and Abe is about to deliver The Gettysburg Address.  Abe stole every line from Mary.  Apparently, Honest Abe was a plagiarizer.

Once his stolen speech is made, Abe travels to a secret barn where a doctor is keeping Mary chained up.  Abe decides to clean her wrists where the chains have cut her.  Abe is telling her all about John Wilkes Booth's plans to kidnap him. (Booth's plans to kidnap Lincoln were real.)  But Abe was too smart and avoided the dangerous area where Booth was hiding.  Abe told Mary he even knew what boarding house Booth was staying in.  During all this talking, Mary manages to scratch Abe and infect him.  Knowing there was no hope for himself, Abe sends a letter to John Wilkes Booth at the boarding house.  The letter tells Booth what has happended, where and when Abe will be.  The final scene shows Lincoln walking through Ford's Theater.

Again, I think this would've been a great Civil War era zombie movie without the historical references.  There was some REALLY bad acting.  But it was mostly the historical references that hurt this film.  On a scale of 1 to 10, this film gets a 3.