Autumn

This one starts off showing a school classroom. One kid starts coughing, the next minute they're all coughing. Soon, the whole school is infected.  The first few opening minutes show how the world has become infected.  A very cool car crash scene follows that.  Soon, billions die within hours.  Kinda makes ya think. 

Soon, we meet a group of survivors.  The group is in hiding not knowing what to think.  A few days later, the dead begin to rise.  But, they seem to be deaf, blind, and can barely move.  Weeks later, the undead become a threat.  They're attracted to color, sounds, and can run really fast.  So, the survivors come up with a plan: Be quiet.

After lots, and lots, and lots of talking between the final three survivors (the others were too loud).  In one scene towards the end, the dead (who at this time could see, hear, and were basically hunting down humans) had surrounded the farmhouse our three survivors were in.  Then, one of the survivors just opens the front door, runs right into the thick of them, and escapes.  VERY disappointing.  

I like the way this one started, but it didn't take long for this one to go down hill and go fast.  On a scale of 1 to 10, this one gets a 2.

Zombie Apocalypse: Redemption

This one had the look and feel of a cheesey 80s film.  But let's start at the beginning.

There are almost no humans left.  The U.S.A. and the U.S.S.R. have detonated all of their nukes in an effort to kill off all the zombies.  Instead, the zombies now outnumber people 10,000 to 1.

The opening of the film begins with the main character (I can't remember his name) running away from the group he was with.  We learn later on that that group has become a bunch of looters.  They not only loot from abandoned towns, they even take from other survivors.  Anyway, the group is hunting down the guy, when he comes across a smaller group that gels together like a family.  They have small children, a babysitter, a sniper group, and team of looters as well.  The difference is, they don't steal from other groups.

The entire film is about the large group chasing the runaway.  The runaway meets up with the small group, and they hide until they can't run anymore.  There's a big gun battle at the end, and the small group wins.  The End.

There was one scene in this movie that I couldn't believe I was seeing. And for that, this movie will get an extra 3 points.  The scene in question?  The runaway is in a grocery store.  He hears a baby cry.  Runaway runs to save the baby.  What he finds is a zombie eating a baby while the mother lay with her stomach ripped open.

Now, the moment nobody has been waiting for... On a scale of 1 to 10, this movie gets a 1.  BUT, with the 3 bonus points, the final result is a 4. By the way, I read another blog somewhere that called this movie more epic than The Walking Dead.

Xombie: Dead On Arrival

This is an animated short film that was first created sometime in 1994.  It was intended for release on the internet as a four or five part mini-series.  I found it edited as a full movie on Netflix.

The movie opens in the distant future with a little girl waking up and not knowing where she is or how she got there.  Quickly, a swarm of the undead are after her.  Enter the movie's hero, Dirge.  He's a xombie.  This is where we learn the difference in zombie and xombie.  The problem is, both words are pronounced the same. Xombies remember who they are.  They know they are dead. Zombies have an irresistible urge to eat human flesh.  Now, you know the difference too.

For safety, Dirge takes the girl (Zoe) to his home. Dirge explains to Zoe that the earth is infested with zombies and that her only hope is to go to the safe zone that was built.  Along the way, the pair stop at a museum.  There they fight a dinosaur, and meet it's owner, another xombie, Nephthys.  She explains that she was a servant to an Egyptian royal.  Nephthys goes on to explain the movie's back story as well.  She even explains that the safe zone is mostly run by robots designed to protect the humans.  If Dirge gets too close, he'll be killed by the robots.

To make a long, boring story short, Dirge and Nephthys take Zoe to the safe zone.  Once they arrive, a herd of zombies chase Zoe.  In an effort to protect Zoe, Dirge does get too close to the robots.  Zoe makes it into the safe zone but Dirge is killed. Maybe.  The movie ended with hints to a sequel.

I was kind of excited to see an animated zombie film.  But one about zombies saving humans, fighting dinosaurs and robots was not what I cared to see.  So, on a scale of 1 to 10, this one gets a well deserved 2.

Dead Heist

How awesome is this movie?  It's still promoted by Myspace.  THAT'S how awesome it is!!

This film is about a group of street pharmacists, AKA drug dealers.  They've decided that they want more out of life.  They want the American Dream.  They want to rob the nation's richest bank.  By the way, this bank is located in a rural town in South Florida where the cops walk around all day due to the lack of excitement.

Anyway, the group goes to their supplier for guns.  After arranging a deal of cash for guns, the plan is put into motion.  The group and the dealer's bodyguard head to Maysville, FL.  I dunno if it's a real town or not, but it's depicted as being very small.

The bodyguard takes a stroll through the town checking things out.  He meets the owner of a Army/Navy type store.  This is where we hear about the mutants that come out once a month.  That's right, once a month.  AND, they migrate south.  AND, they burrow underground.  AND, they crave human blood.  They sound like a cross between vampires and gophers.  But no, they're zombies. Sorta.

After the bank robbery goes wrong, the group and some of the hostages are trapped in the bank.  The gophers...vampires...I uh I mean zombies are outside.  This is where we learn that shooting them in the heart is the only way to kill them.  I know that this is only a movie, and in movies you can do whatever you want.  But, I'm sorry, it's pretty much a rule that zombies can only be killed by destroying the brain.

The director must have told the actors to ad-lib their lines.  That may have been the best part of the whole movie.  The dialogue between the characters seemed real.  It didn't seem fake or forced.  That and the actor that played the body guard, D.J. Naylor.  I think he could be a big time action star.  I tried finding his bio online, but all I could find was that he worked in transportation in two other movies before this one.

On a scale of 1 to 10, this one gets a 4.  Naylor and the ad-libbing brought this rating up.  By the way, Bone Crusher only makes a cameo.  Despite what the promo poster shows, he's only in the movie for a minute or two.

Rammbock

This little film from Germany starts off with Micheal going back to Berlin to see his ex-girlfriend.  Micheal is hoping he can repair their relationship.  Micheal arrives at her apartment only to find a plumber and his apprentice.  Suddenly, the plumber jumps up and tries to bite Micheal.  Micheal and the apprentice (Harper), push the zombie plumber out of the apartment and barricade the door. They look out the window to see that even police officers are trying to bite people.

This film was only an hour long.  The story was slow moving.  But, in a good way.  The special effects were great.  I shortened this review due to the fact that this film was only an hour long.  The lone paragraph above is half the film.  I don't want to give too much away, because something happens to Harper, and he  discovers a new way to fight zombies.  At first I wasn't cool with it, but then I figured that no movie has ever done it before, AND it is possible.

The film does have two flaws. 1. They use sedatives to delay an infected person from turning. I just didn't like that.  2. It's in German with English subtitles.  The film actually scared me.  I looked up Rammbock, and the English translation is battering ram.  When you watch this one, keep that in mind.  The homemade Rammbock saves Micheal & Harper while almost getting them eaten.  On a scale of 1 to 10, this one gets a very solid 9.

Dead Season

This film starts off with a guy narrating.  Basically, he tells us who he is, a paramedic with no friends or family.  He also tells us how he got to where he is, he walked.  Ground zero for this thing started in Pittsburgh.  Elvis (the paramedic) was on duty that day.  He lost a patient.  As he's sitting there putting his supplies back into the ambulance, the patient re-animates.  Thus begins the Zombie Apocalypse!!

The next scene shows Elvis in Miami.  He's talking to a woman (Tweeter) on a Walkie Talkie.  By the extent of their conversation, I assume they do this every night.  Elvis tells the woman that he has a friend that will give them a boat.  Elvis provides shelter for the woman until they can get to the boat.

They finally make it to the boat and sail to a remote island somewhere off the coast of Florida.  Shortly after they reach land, they come across a group of survivors.  This group takes Elvis & Tweeter to a gated community where they live.  After meeting the leader of the group, he decides that Elvis is valuable considering he's a medic.  Tweeter gets to stay because she's with Elvis.  Elvis asks the leader, "What happens when someone isn't allowed to stay?"  The leader tells him, "We'll cross that bridge when we get there."

A few days later, an old man shows up with his infected wife.  A patrol team brings them in.  The wife turns and bites a few people.  The leader is forced to put them all down.  Later, we find out what happens to those that can't stay.  The leader forces Elvis to harvest the old man for organs and food.  Everything in the movie after that revolves around Elvis & Tweeter trying to escape the island.

This one wasn't too bad.  The zombies looked ok.  They didn't look really gory, but they didn't look lame either.  This film was more about the community on the island than the zombies.  I think on a scale of 1 to 10, this one gets a 6.  It wasn't great, but it didn't suck either.

Zombie Women Of Satan

This little British flick revolves around a retired heavy metal singer and a burlesque troupe.  The singer's sister has joined a cult, and the singer wants to rescue her.  The singer decides going on one last tour with the group will help her find her sister.

The movie starts with a performance by the singer and the group. Later you see everyone backstage talking, drinking, snorting, and etc...  The topic comes up about this internet tv show they have to be on the next morning.  The next scene cuts to the hotel they're staying in.  After some very lame Scooby-Doo style run through one door and come out another gags, the group settles in.

This is when we meet the cult group.  This "family" reminded me of a comical version of The Firefly Family.  Here we find out that this family is performing experiments on unsuspecting women.

The next morning, the group travels to a tv studio which also happens to be on a farm.  I'm glad atleast the rock singer knew what was going on.  What dummy would believe they'd be going to a tv studio on a farm?!?!  Anyway, after an an interruption by a member of the cult, the singer spots her sister.  While the group is looking for the singer's sister, the family is trying to hide her and avoid the zombies they've created.

I really didn't like this one.  There was a clown character that looked like he was a fan of ICP.  That didn't bother me though.  What hurt this movie was the bad attempts at comedy.  The clown went off to touch himself a couple of times in the movie.  There was even an extended scene where another character went cross-eyed taking a crap.  Maybe the funniest scene was the zombie in a wheelchair.  So, with all that in mind, I give this film a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10.